Humiliation is the new toxic at work place

A recent study by MIT Sloan shows that toxic work culture is a primary factor pushing people to quit their jobs.

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No organisation willingly associates itself with a culture of workplace humiliation. Yet, it remains a widespread practice, one that forces employees into unhealthy work environments or drives them to quit altogether. As Mumbai-based leadership coach and seasoned HR professional Prabir Jha points out,

“The era of silently enduring toxic workplace cultures is fading. With greater awareness amongst Gen Z and a more fluid employment landscape, employees today are more empowered to reject such environments and move to better opportunities.”

A recent study by MIT Sloan shows that toxic work culture is a primary factor pushing people to quit their jobs. While LinkedIn bleeds with layoffs, I spoke to working professionals who finally put in their papers to end the unbearable whims of a foul workplace. For Anila Maqbool, it had been only two weeks as a publicist with a city-based hospitality firm when she felt targeted by her co-workers.

“I was the youngest team-member and that apparently, that was my biggest crime. It began when my colleagues started singling me out to keep me out of the loop. Initially, my tasks would be met with obstacles and my execution was slow. I found myself running in circles seeking approvals and chasing deadlines. It gave me anxiety issues and my self-esteem suffered a blow.”

When Anila spoke to her manager about the recurrent issues, she was met with a bitter response. Her manager scorned: “You act like all the wrongs are happening with you only! The world doesn’t revolve around you and you need to work on your inefficiencies.” Right after this episode, Anila decided to quit and left without collecting her due compensation and the relieving letter.

Gaslighting, Distortion, Exploitation

In another instance, Mukul Lodha (name changed), shares a mortifying account of what he went through while working with a Delhi-based human rights law firm. He was hired as a cameraman for a month-long contract to shoot visuals in Tripura. In a telephonic conversation, he explains: “My contract stated that I was supposed to shoot the footage and share the dump. So, I delivered what was asked of me. A month later, I get a call from the CEO who offered me a job at the same firm!”

Excited as he was to receive the offer, Mukul decided to visit the office. Upon visiting, he was met with a hostile attitude. The founder asked, “Why didn’t you edit the footage you shot?” To which Mukul explained that he was hired only to shoot and not edit. Mukul recalls the moment when the founder began to scream and caught him off guard. “Do you have no passion for the work you do? How unprofessional of you to just dump your footage and move on? You are a disappointment!”

It was a blow to Mukul’s work ethic. Before he could even join, he was treated with humiliation and gross misunderstanding at a workplace that supposedly fights for human rights. Two days later, he sent the edited video along with a statement declining the job offer. Mukul was resolved to prove his capability and also call out the undignified attitude of his employer.

Hidden Mechanics of Workplace Harm

Mental health researcher Ishan Shivanand is of the opinion that people demean their colleagues/subordinates to be able to feel intelligent.

“In psychological sciences, gaslighting is a way of emotionally manipulating someone to make them believe that their thoughts, viewpoints, emotions or imagination are not right. The bullies consistently emphasise on proving you wrong to feel superior to you. It can be done in any order of hierarchy, as long as the individual is allowing themselves to be bullied.”

A bad boss can take a good staff & destroy it, causing the best employees to flee and remainder to lose all motivation. In a similar case, Tanya Pathak recounts her final days of working as a communications associate with a city-based non-profit organisation. She mentions that there were no respectful boundaries that were adhered to at her workplace.

“My boss would try to get very personal with me. I would receive unsolicited opinions on my personal life be it my dressing or friendships. It made me doubt myself and question my choices. I felt gaslit by senior employees and it began affecting my health, both physical and emotional. Ultimately, I resigned as I couldn’t deal with the mounting stress.”

Manipulation Dressed as Management

Bullying and humiliation can have a detrimental impact on an employee’s mental wellbeing. It can build work-related stress and lead to burnouts. Employees may also experience frequent episodes of feeling overwhelmed during the day and end up with mental health concerns including anxiety and depression, shares Ishan, who is also a professor of meditative modalities.

“It leaves scars that can undermine one’s confidence forever. The person can enter their own shell, choosing not to ideate or collaborate, and in many ways alter the fundamentals of one’s personality. In cases, this emotional expression can lead to acute depression, with potential life risks” added Prabir.

Preventing Abuse at Workplace

Bengaluru-based Myah Payel Mitra has been working with organisations to build motivating and engaging environment inside offices. She tells me that people will opt to work at a place that makes them feel recognised, included, valued, promoted, and appreciated.

“For many people, work-life balance and an employment that keeps their mental health positive is a top priority. People don’t necessarily switch jobs for money only; most of them are looking for respect and mental peace. Anything that costs you your peace of mind is too expensive and many people therefore choose peace over paycheck."

Common signs of a toxic workplace:

• It’s an environment that lacks physical, mental, emotional and psychological safety.

• Employees don’t feel safe to ask questions, share their opinions, or provide honest feedback.

• Disrespect, discrimination, harassment and, scapegoating becomes a norm.

• Leaders don’t intervene to protect employees or resolve conflicts.

• There is lack of trust, transparency and equity amongst employees.

• High levels of stress and burnout, leading to higher attrition rates.

Why do toxic bosses get away with this behavior?

Bad bosses are created, nurtured and rewarded by their bosses and organisations. Many deliver a financial number and everything else gets a blind eye. This emboldens them to continue with such behaviour. As a success recipe, this behaviour becomes the template for others and the cancer spreads. Such bosses have rarely had honest feedback, coaching support or reprimands for them to be anything else.

"In some cases, this may have been a blind spot for long. Worst, poor HR systems make them believe that this behaviour alone delivers business outcomes, a myth they have carefully cultivated”, highlights Prabir who is the CEO of Prabir Jha People Advisory, a boutique platform for retained strategic advisory, talent search and executive coaching.

For employees to stand up against such behaviour requires them to personally believe that they must do so. They also need to instil confidence in their organisation that it will stand by them. “Often both are missing. Surely the latter is absent and employees prefer to stay quiet and suffer silently or, if they can, quit at the first opportunity.”

Subtle Abuse, Serious Consequences

Such is the case of Vikrant Mehra, a Mumbai-based creative director working with an ad agency. In a telephonic conversation, he shares how the constant cycle of ideation and rejection has led to his mental burnout. He has been held back from promotions, his creativity questioned and his ideas quashed as his boss constantly critiqued his credibility.

“It’s tough to stand up against my boss. He is seldom receptive to feedback as that makes him far more aggressive, vengeful and wicked. He is selfish to the core. He leans on positional authority and inflicts damage without a second thought. I am seeking other avenues but till then I will not stop calling him out for his toxicity”, shared Vikrant who intends to quit as soon as a better opportunity comes his way.

What can employees do to combat humiliation at workplace?

Myah shares a guide to deal with workplace inefficiencies. “Firstly, decide if you want to work for the same company or not, given the toxic environment. If you decide to leave, then start working on your exit plan while maintaining the same professionalism at work in your current job. It is best not to gossip about your toxic boss to other co-workers.

And if you decide stay on then have a conversation with your boss letting them know how you feel. If the behavior does not change over a period of time and you decide to make a formal complaint to the HR in your organization, then start keeping a record of the rude behaviors and documenting them before filing a case. Be prepared as the outcome could go either way!”

Prabir resonates with Myah and goes one step ahead by saying that the best way is if you could actually speak up to such bosses to their face! Some companies have very effective Ombudsman processes to raise such issues. Some organisations have cultures which look at these situations as unacceptable aberrations. One could speak to the skip level manager or HR in such cases. You could even talk to Employee Assistance Group counsellors that some companies offer. But if none of these are effective, you must explore internal jobs away from this manager or quit altogether.

Nothing can be a reason to work with terrible bosses endlessly. The price you pay might be astronomical!